Author: Fuzz
http://www.dmonik.com

            Some of the things I rant about are firmly based on legitimate arguments. This, however, is probably not such an argument. Not that it sounds illegitimate, at least in my opinion. You see, student parking is a retarded concept. Well, the concept its self isnít retarded but the situation it often creates is. Iíll explain. At North Warren, there is a faculty parking lot and a student parking lot. The faculty parking lot, as most faculty parking lots, is located conveniently near the building. The student parking lot, however, is unduly far from the building. That sucks. It sucks not only because we the students have to walk farther to get to the building, but also because such a walk is unnecessary.

I myself have been parking in the far end of the faculty parking lot since I began driving to school. Now the only thing Iíve done wrong is violated a rule, which of course is not a bad thing to do. Remember that. If by violating a rule you do nothing more than violate a rule, youíre not wrong. You may get in trouble, but youíre not wrong. What I mean is that the rule doesnít have purpose. Well, I shouldnít say that. The purpose of this rule is to guarantee members of the faculty a parking space that is close to the building but the rule doesnít apply to the current situation, the reason for which is simple: The faculty parking lot has more spaces than we have faculty members. In fact, all the members of the faculty and all the students who drive to school could probably fit in the faculty parking lot with room to spare. And as I said, Iíve been parking in the far end of the faculty parking lot. You know, the BIG EMPTY PLACE where nobody parks.

There is no logical reason why students should not be allowed to park in this BIG EMPTY SPACE. I mean itís not like Iím taking somebodyís spot. Itís not like one of our poor faculty members will have to walk a little farther because I parked in this BIG EMPTY SPACE. If you remember, the students were instructed to park in this BIG EMPTY SPACE a while back. I believe it was because a group of students decided they were going to make a habit of smoking pot in the student parking lot before school. A problem arose when the administration realized they couldnít see everything going on in the far off land of student parking.

Anyway, as long as the number of faculty vehicles plus the number of student vehicles remains less than the number of spaces in faculty parking, it is a back-ass-ward load of horse shit that I am expected not to park there.

There is another argument, however, that will remain valid even after the aforementioned equation evaluates to false. That is: why should the students have to walk farther to get to the building? Really. Ask yourself that question. Why? Why should the teachers get to sit in padded chairs, while our chairs are attached to our desks? I know it seems like they just should, but thatís what youíve been conditioned to believe. The truth is that the faculty gets paid to come to school. The students pay to come to school. And donít argue with me and say that they donít. Yes, itís a public school and you donít have to pay directly, but unless you go through your entire life making so little money that you remain tax exempt, YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR EDUCATION. Actually youíll pay for the education of the generation under you, but the generation above you paid (or is paying) for your education. So you see itís quite simple. The faculty members are the schoolís employees and the students are the schoolís customers. Now what kind of business allows itís employees to park right behind the building, but forces itís customers to park on the other side of a god damn bridge? Convenience should be provided to the customer (student). Unless a faculty member has a physically debilitating condition, I believe that I have more of a right to park in faculty parking than they do.

So I believe that there are only two appropriate courses of action for the oppressed and mistreated students: 1. We could all refuse to pay taxes like a certain someone I know (mkay) or 2. We could collectively smoke marijuana in the student parking lot and see if the administration would close it off again.