Making Phosphorus

Phosphorus is very cool. It ignites on contact with air. Hey, we were all bored to shit in high school.

The phosphorus combines with oxygen to form P4O10 in a highly exothermic reaction.

Welch took a piece of this stuff out of its jar and it caught fire all over the floor. He had to pull the emergency shower, which of course was designed without a drain. The liquid dripped through the floor into Tina Marra's math classroom and she was forced to evacuate... which was awesome!

Once Welch made the mistake of educating us, we knew we had to obtain some of this marvelous substance. Happy we were when we learned that you can make white phosphorus from piss. Yes, ordinary urine can be used to create something as cool and reactive as phosphorus... think of all you've been wasting!

The first step of this process involves boiling large quantities of urine down to a paste containing the ammonium sodium hydrogenphosphate. The shed outside our lab smelled worse than you can possibly imagine.

Next we add charcoal and sand. Heat the mixture and pure phosphorus will separate out. The formulas for the reactions taking place in this process are listed in the lab.

Disclaimer: Don't do this. It's dangerous.